Blogphen

I’ve been thinking the wording of this post through my head for the past several days. Still doesn’t help me in any sense, though.

Over the past 2 weeks I’ve done too much travelling and have had time to do some thinking. Essentially, there are a few themes which have recurred.

• Firstly, I don’t feel settled. Before moving to University, we had builders in at home doing all sorts of stuff. As a result, that gave us all of 1 day to shop for EVERYTHING I needed and leave the next. Therefore I didn’t actually get to pack anything until the morning I left.

Because of this, I haven’t felt as though I’ve moved out, just that I did a quick pack to go on holiday for a bit. Hence I don’t actually feel as though Hendrefoelan Student Village is actually “home”. I know I do say “I’m on my way home” but I just use it as a saying and because it’s easy to say.

• Secondly, my life isn’t as I’d like it to be. Freshers’ Week wasn’t like it’s supposed to be. I’d like to write about it but given some parts of the Blog’s readership (and not just Google), I feel it’s safer not to. Suffice to say I don’t feel properly part of the University lifestyle.

In the 7 weeks we’ve been there I’ve been slowly gaining an interest towards a girl more commonly known as Emily. She’s more like me than most people I’ve met so far but I can’t tell if she gives a shit about me. I’m not going to ask her out simply because I’m shit scared of rejection. It’s happened all too often in my lifetime (precisely every single time; in the only relationship I’ve been in she asked me out) and it does me precisely zero amount of good, mostly relating to what you can assume my last password-protected post is about.

My course has also become very hard, very quickly. The CompSci (the ACTUAL course I signed up for) modules are all going fine, all going smoothly. However, I’m beginning to struggle with both the maths and engineering modules I’m being forced to take. Both of them are about logic and on some occasions have shared the same material, just from a different PoV. I was fine up until then but then they took radically different roads and now each course is pumping me full of information I don’t understand. Hopefully I’ll be able to get books for both and catch up soon.

• I’ve spent the last weekend at the house of friends in Essex. Had a mostly good time apart from the tantrum which was thrown just before I went. Was over nothing, really, but despite everybody else apologising for him, it wasn’t really a downer on the weekend. Had a great time and a fantastic end to what had been a fun but exhausting birthday on the Friday!

Once again, I blog from the train. I’m now on the way back to Swansea. Had a MUCH easier journey than last Sunday (Nottm > Birmingham > Newport > Bridgend > Swansea taking 7 hours) - hopped on a train at Chafford, straight on a Circle Line train to Paddington and just missed the EARLIER train by 5 mins. Was there 55 mins before my scheduled train so I didn’t lose anything (other than The Game, which happened when I wrote that). Got the Swansea train on time and I should be home for 8:30!

Anyway, that seems to be my life as it stands at the moment. Lots of seemingly random, unconnected bits, really!